As Roger Ebert said once in a review of a children's movie: "I am certain there is an audience for this, and I am certain I am not it."
This was my reaction to Joshua Harris's Sex Is Not the Problem. I will be the first to say that the author's excessively chipper, can-do cheerleader attitude (which comes across clearly on every page) struck a cord with me. I have no doubt that what he was trying to express in his book - that it is lust, not sexuality, which is wrong and sinful in the sight of God - was a valid and important part. Too many people are scarred by thinking that their sexuality is somehow dirty or shameful; this is clearly disordered thinking, and it easily seeps into other aspects of life (as with those who hate their bodies for not conforming to some idealized standard, those who use their bodies to control others, those who allow this disordered thinking to ruin their interpersonal relationships). Indeed, it must be addressed, and from that perspective this book is a useful one.
I was not, however, the target audience of this book. For one thing, while the book claimed to be oriented towards both men and women, the overall approach to sexual sin and the book's progression were male-focused. The insistence on accountability groups, the exhaustive references to escaping the desire to masturbate or view pornography, the self-flagellation over past sins might be helpful to those who have need of such advice. The casual reader interested in evaluating lust or sexual sin in his or her life will find this book unhelpful. That being said, the author did make valid points, and while I cannot imagine the average person wanting to sit in an accountability group and discuss masturbation, the concept of being accountable to someone else when we are trying to change our thoughts and minds is one of the main reasons one might consider confession.
The author does make frequent allusions to his married life, which may make the reader a little uncomfortable. These are neither graphic or tasteless, but they do strike the reader as being unnecessary. Also, one particular anecdote - in which the author confronts the temptation provided by a lingerie catalog - is both painfully earnest and laughably naive.
Mr. Harris is the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye as well (which will be reviewed at a future time), and the strict interpretation he has of the biblical call to purity might turn readers off of his books. There is plenty for the discerning reader to ponder, even if in the end one does not feel that this author's opinions are in line with one's own beliefs. Certainly, for those who are struggling daily with feelings of shame or disgust at themselves over perceived sexual sins, this book offers some comfort though it offers some answers (memorize Scripture, call friends when you feel like you might masturbate, pack away your television to shield your eyes from the media, etc) that readers may find unpalatable.
I give this a 2.5 out of 5.
Get it: Sex Is Not the Problem
Other books by this author include
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Boy Meets Girl
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
Review: Rapture Ready!
Here we'll pause on the way to the Dr. Cloud trifecta and review Rapture Ready! by Daniel Radosh.
Rapture Ready! is a humorous and insightful look at the world of Christian popular culture, exploring such things as Christian rock concerts, Christian Superheroes, and Christian theme parks through the eyes of a secular humanist Jew. While one might expect either a too-pat treatment or else a scathing rebuttal - and at times, Radosh does appear close to veering into the latter - this is instead a fascinating look at what might be fairly nicknamed the American subculture of Christianity.
Radosh treats his subject matter fairly; he never pretends that he is trying to extoll this subculture; he also does not descend into mockery. Even the farcical elements - such as the BibleMan show he attends, the Ultimate Christian Wrestling event he witnesses, and the Passion Play in which he participates - are treated with a sort of laughing reverence and he never loses sight of the fact that, while these things are funny and even ludicrous to him, they are meaningful to the people with whom he interacts. His treatment of Christian literature is accurate, and he rightfully bemoans the kitschy and trite that can easily filter into Christian stores (pencil erasers, testa-mints, bumper stickers). His conversation with Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker is one of the high points of the book, as is his treatment of the Left Behind series by LaHaye and Jenkins (and the accompanying directions to Slacktivist's massive Left Behind expose blog.)
Radosh's tone is one of an interested sociologist who wants very much to understand how this strange culture in which he has been planted functions, and therefore it has a touch of the "alien archeologist" tone to it. It is not a book about religion per se, or an attempt to promote any one religious viewpoint. Nor is it a work that tries to demean or diminish any particular religious view. This in no way diminishes his message or the import of some of what he says, and while the reader might not agree with every pronouncement, he or she will take away some interesting ideas for further reflection.
I give it a 4 out of 5.
Get it: Rapture Ready
You can also read the author's "Rapture Ready!" blog.
Similar Books:
Why We're Not Emergent by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck.
Selling Out the Church by Phillip Kenneson and James Street.
Rapture Ready! is a humorous and insightful look at the world of Christian popular culture, exploring such things as Christian rock concerts, Christian Superheroes, and Christian theme parks through the eyes of a secular humanist Jew. While one might expect either a too-pat treatment or else a scathing rebuttal - and at times, Radosh does appear close to veering into the latter - this is instead a fascinating look at what might be fairly nicknamed the American subculture of Christianity.
Radosh treats his subject matter fairly; he never pretends that he is trying to extoll this subculture; he also does not descend into mockery. Even the farcical elements - such as the BibleMan show he attends, the Ultimate Christian Wrestling event he witnesses, and the Passion Play in which he participates - are treated with a sort of laughing reverence and he never loses sight of the fact that, while these things are funny and even ludicrous to him, they are meaningful to the people with whom he interacts. His treatment of Christian literature is accurate, and he rightfully bemoans the kitschy and trite that can easily filter into Christian stores (pencil erasers, testa-mints, bumper stickers). His conversation with Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker is one of the high points of the book, as is his treatment of the Left Behind series by LaHaye and Jenkins (and the accompanying directions to Slacktivist's massive Left Behind expose blog.)
Radosh's tone is one of an interested sociologist who wants very much to understand how this strange culture in which he has been planted functions, and therefore it has a touch of the "alien archeologist" tone to it. It is not a book about religion per se, or an attempt to promote any one religious viewpoint. Nor is it a work that tries to demean or diminish any particular religious view. This in no way diminishes his message or the import of some of what he says, and while the reader might not agree with every pronouncement, he or she will take away some interesting ideas for further reflection.
I give it a 4 out of 5.
Get it: Rapture Ready
You can also read the author's "Rapture Ready!" blog.
Similar Books:
Why We're Not Emergent by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck.
Selling Out the Church by Phillip Kenneson and James Street.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Review: Boundaries
Boundaries
Dr. Henry Cloud
Dr. John Townsend
Because I found How to Find a Date Worth Keeping so interesting, I decided to pick up Boundaries by the same author. Where How to Find a Date Worth Keeping offers practical advice that would work in almost any situation, I did not find Boundaries nearly so apropos. For one thing, while peppered with anecdotal evidence, it did not have the feel of factual accuracy that the other book did. Indeed, the anecdotes selected seemed to fit the text so perfectly one might wonder if they had been tailored to fit the individual situations.
In this book, Drs. Cloud and Townsend offer advice for the average person with boundary problems on how to deal with other people and with themselves. Boundary problems, in the context of this book, relates to one's ability to say "no" and to mean "no" and a general inability to define ones' self as separate from others. Readers are talked through how to cope with setting boundaries at work, with spouses, with children, and even with themselves. While the importance of being able to say no, to respond appropriately in given situations, and to defend one's mental and physical well-being cannot be overstated, it would also seem that Dr. Cloud believes most people suffer from these general boundary issues and that these same issues are best resolved with group therapy.
The general reader with children might find the section on setting boundaries with children useful as it deals with applying positive discipline and the importance of being consistent; and those with children who are hard to handle may find appropriate advice in how to approach dealing with their children. Also, those in codependent relationships or abusive ones (verbally, physically, etc) might find this book useful in that it offers a plan for how to define the self without harming the other. It makes frequent use of biblical quotations and the theology of the author is strong; for those seeking encouragement in learning that saying no to others does not mean ignoring Christian calls to brotherhood and love, it offers firm support and biblical reference.
I would give it a 3 out of 5.
Get it: Boundaries
Similar books include:
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie
Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman
Dr. Henry Cloud
Dr. John Townsend
Because I found How to Find a Date Worth Keeping so interesting, I decided to pick up Boundaries by the same author. Where How to Find a Date Worth Keeping offers practical advice that would work in almost any situation, I did not find Boundaries nearly so apropos. For one thing, while peppered with anecdotal evidence, it did not have the feel of factual accuracy that the other book did. Indeed, the anecdotes selected seemed to fit the text so perfectly one might wonder if they had been tailored to fit the individual situations.
In this book, Drs. Cloud and Townsend offer advice for the average person with boundary problems on how to deal with other people and with themselves. Boundary problems, in the context of this book, relates to one's ability to say "no" and to mean "no" and a general inability to define ones' self as separate from others. Readers are talked through how to cope with setting boundaries at work, with spouses, with children, and even with themselves. While the importance of being able to say no, to respond appropriately in given situations, and to defend one's mental and physical well-being cannot be overstated, it would also seem that Dr. Cloud believes most people suffer from these general boundary issues and that these same issues are best resolved with group therapy.
The general reader with children might find the section on setting boundaries with children useful as it deals with applying positive discipline and the importance of being consistent; and those with children who are hard to handle may find appropriate advice in how to approach dealing with their children. Also, those in codependent relationships or abusive ones (verbally, physically, etc) might find this book useful in that it offers a plan for how to define the self without harming the other. It makes frequent use of biblical quotations and the theology of the author is strong; for those seeking encouragement in learning that saying no to others does not mean ignoring Christian calls to brotherhood and love, it offers firm support and biblical reference.
I would give it a 3 out of 5.
Get it: Boundaries
Similar books include:
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie
Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Review: How to Find a Date Worth Keeping
How To Find a Date Worth Keeping
Dr. Henry Cloud
I picked this book up on a whim at the bookstore where I work. I was intrigued by the title; as a twentysomething who has seen more than her share of quiet Fridays tick past, I thought it might give me a few pointers on spiffing up for the dating scene. I thought that the advice Dr. Cloud gave in this book was right on topic.
Dr. Cloud's thesis in the book was that we are responsible for our dating behavior; and that while we might think we're waiting for God to bring the "right one" into our lives, but that actually we are stifling our opportunities. As opposed to other Christian dating books, this one encourages frequent dating and dating that is not geared solely towards the procuration of a mate. Dr. Cloud's idea is that we learn best how we want to treat others - and how we want them to treat us - by interacting with them.
Some of the advice in this book involves: meeting 5 new people a week; getting 'out there' and being involved; joining a dating service; date outside your type; and work on fixing your personal issues before expecting others to fix you.
While this book is written with a Christian audience in mind, it is applicable to any dating situation where the person wants to understand a little better why it seems all the good ones are gone or how to make themselves more available.
In the SpyGlass ranking system (1-5, 1 being terrible and 5 being outstanding), I give this book a solid 3.5.
Get it:How To Find A Date Worth Keeping
Similar books (for women) include He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
Dr. Henry Cloud
I picked this book up on a whim at the bookstore where I work. I was intrigued by the title; as a twentysomething who has seen more than her share of quiet Fridays tick past, I thought it might give me a few pointers on spiffing up for the dating scene. I thought that the advice Dr. Cloud gave in this book was right on topic.
Dr. Cloud's thesis in the book was that we are responsible for our dating behavior; and that while we might think we're waiting for God to bring the "right one" into our lives, but that actually we are stifling our opportunities. As opposed to other Christian dating books, this one encourages frequent dating and dating that is not geared solely towards the procuration of a mate. Dr. Cloud's idea is that we learn best how we want to treat others - and how we want them to treat us - by interacting with them.
Some of the advice in this book involves: meeting 5 new people a week; getting 'out there' and being involved; joining a dating service; date outside your type; and work on fixing your personal issues before expecting others to fix you.
While this book is written with a Christian audience in mind, it is applicable to any dating situation where the person wants to understand a little better why it seems all the good ones are gone or how to make themselves more available.
In the SpyGlass ranking system (1-5, 1 being terrible and 5 being outstanding), I give this book a solid 3.5.
Get it:How To Find A Date Worth Keeping
Similar books (for women) include He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
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