Review: Boundaries

Boundaries
Dr. Henry Cloud
Dr. John Townsend

Because I found How to Find a Date Worth Keeping so interesting, I decided to pick up Boundaries by the same author. Where How to Find a Date Worth Keeping offers practical advice that would work in almost any situation, I did not find Boundaries nearly so apropos. For one thing, while peppered with anecdotal evidence, it did not have the feel of factual accuracy that the other book did. Indeed, the anecdotes selected seemed to fit the text so perfectly one might wonder if they had been tailored to fit the individual situations.

In this book, Drs. Cloud and Townsend offer advice for the average person with boundary problems on how to deal with other people and with themselves. Boundary problems, in the context of this book, relates to one's ability to say "no" and to mean "no" and a general inability to define ones' self as separate from others. Readers are talked through how to cope with setting boundaries at work, with spouses, with children, and even with themselves. While the importance of being able to say no, to respond appropriately in given situations, and to defend one's mental and physical well-being cannot be overstated, it would also seem that Dr. Cloud believes most people suffer from these general boundary issues and that these same issues are best resolved with group therapy.

The general reader with children might find the section on setting boundaries with children useful as it deals with applying positive discipline and the importance of being consistent; and those with children who are hard to handle may find appropriate advice in how to approach dealing with their children. Also, those in codependent relationships or abusive ones (verbally, physically, etc) might find this book useful in that it offers a plan for how to define the self without harming the other. It makes frequent use of biblical quotations and the theology of the author is strong; for those seeking encouragement in learning that saying no to others does not mean ignoring Christian calls to brotherhood and love, it offers firm support and biblical reference.

I would give it a 3 out of 5.

Get it: Boundaries

Similar books include:
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie
Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Kevin Leman